To really lead, gentlemen, you must be secure “in yourself.” I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. Don't try to lead her when you walk, just go confidently yourself. Great leaders don't think about leading when they dance. They connect with her at the beginning in the embrace and then they know she's there and trust her to respond. Don't try to “make her” follow you. Retain your own good (confident) posture and focus on the cleanness of your own movement. And remember that less is definitely more. Send clear signals and don’t obscure them with too much noise and static. And, again, don't worry about the woman. Trust in the leading and following working not through your will but through the way the dance itself is designed. Connect with her, trust her to respond, and stay calm and grounded and clear. That’s when the magic of tango happens.